Couple humbled by community support

When Melissa Costa-Lac learned that she and her husband had won a contest for free fertility treatment, she was overjoyed.

But her joy was also tempered by the knowledge that 42 other couples who had entered the contest were once again faced with the disappointment that anyone who has been down the infertility road knows all too well.

?We are humbled by the support we have received and by the generosity of this community that we only moved to five years ago,? said Costa-Lac, 33. ?At the same time, we feel such sadness for the other couples who were not selected.?

The I Believe Video Journal Contest, sponsored by the Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine in Las Vegas, invited infertile couples to submit a video telling their story in any way they wished as to why they deserved to win the $12,000 full cycle of in vitro fertilization (IVF). Three couples were chosen to receive treatment.

?It wasn?t hard to tell my story because it?s a pretty good story and we didn?t have to add anything to it,? said Costa-Lac who with her husband, Hong Lac, has endured four miscarriages, three failed adoptions and the devastating still-birth of their full-term son, Xakai Van Lac July 22, 2010.

Assisted by their good friend, local photographer and father of two young children, Kyle Perison, the couple made the video and submitted it.

?It?s one of those things where you either participate or you roll your eyes at it,? said Costa-Lac, a dental hygienist who was with a patient when she got the call that she and her husband had won. ?When we won, it was awesome, but the elation was followed by the sadness of? the people who did not win, and I wonder how they?re feeling.?

Costa-Lac said the response from family, friends and even strangers on the street has been overwhelmingly positive. But there have been a few negative comments, ranging from people wondering why a Canadian couple had the chance to win, to those wondering why anyone would share their story in such a public way.

Living with infertility is lonely and those who have never experienced the heartbreak of longing for a baby simply can?t begin to understand the despair that accompanies another negative pregnancy test.

In sharing their story, Costa-Lac and her husband hope they have shown other couples that they are not alone.

?People have told us to just walk away and it will happen, but I can?t just hope, I have to be proactive and at least give this a shot.?

Now that the couple?s medical records have been sent to the clinic, their next step is a consultation of up to three hours, via Skype, with Dr. Geoffrey Sher.

And, while the treatment is free, the couple will still be paying for the medications, as well as flights and two weeks of accommodation in Las Vegas.

?Less than five per cent of infertile couples get help because of the cost of treatment, so I just keep relating back to the people who didn?t win because this is another loss for them.?

Working full-time as a dental hygienist as well as working in the child care at Excel Fitness, as a nanny several evenings a week and hosting international students as a home stay family, Costa-Lac and her husband also run a health food restaurant in Penticton.

?With this opportunity, we have a year to use the treatment, so we?ll work as hard as we can to save money.?

After the death of? Xakai, Costa-Lac discovered that she has an auto-immune disorder which could interfere with a healthy pregnancy. Several friends have offered themselves as surrogates, but for now, the couple has yet to decide if they?ll take that route.

Once in Vegas, they will stay in an apartment hotel located close to the clinic that is also the temporary home for couples from around the world, seeking fertility treatment.

The couple?s Buddhist faith has been a source of support in getting them through the grief they have experienced on their journey towards parenthood.

?The hardest thing is enlightenment, but you don?t get enlightenment when things are perfect, but through the tough things that bring you to your knees.

?I feel really hopeful and I?m absolutely humbled by the people of Vernon. And if this doesn?t work, we just continue to live our lives, but I want to thank everyone for their support.?

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